Do You Do What You Are Told?

I tend not to. I drag my feet, I dawdle and daydream…. I try to talk my self into it, and then talk to myself about all the reasons I am procrastinating, thinking ( but knowing it won’t) it will make a difference. That is what I do, to my great shame.

Anyway, the other day my daughter handed me a book, she said “you need to read this” . I looked at the back cover and the title, and thought to myself, oh. no. I don’t want to read it, but I told her I would. “OK”.

I don’t want to because I really don’t think it will be to me what it was to her. She is at the cusp of life… I lived through much, much differently than I figured or dreamed. I don’t want to read “Captivating”. I don’t believe in knights in shining armor anymore. I don’t believe I am any princess in a tower – unless you have visions of Shrek in your mind. Sorry. I don’t. I am leary of literature that promotes that for women. But I told her I would read it…and she nudged me on it the yesterday or so, again….

but I don’t want to because books like that make me cry. They make me remember who I used to be and the dreams I once had. And it makes me cry.

I don’t feel like that kind of cry, but I will give you a review after I’ve read it.

Reading a book ought to be good for something, even if only for keeping promises and for giving a review.

I am wondering what she thinks it will do for me. Whether it seems like it will restore my ideals of romance or something. The trouble with me is that I have always been idealistic, but romantic is something I have only dabbled in at times because that was the expected thing for women. I love a lot of romantic things but for all the wrong reasons. I love flowers, but mainly the type you grow in your garden- you know a pot of perennials, a gallon shrub, stuff like that. I don’t like to waste money- so videos at home are so much better than a trip to the movies. My husband lucked out, because I can go a year or so without a date… but even on that timetable, he doesn’t tend to take me out. It went downhilll after a babysitter became impossible ( watch 4+ kids ?…. no amount of money will persuade them; especially mine, high gear, scattering as soon as parents car moves out of sight, etc). Now, we are both sort of lazy.

Although out of the blue my husband wants to take me to a movie and dinner this week. What’s up with that? Maybe he read the book;) Nah..he doesn’t really read, although he did finish Chuck Norris’ bio last month. Then we had to groan through a couple weeks worth of old Chuck Norris movies. He made me read it for its inspiration value… I did skim it, and I did see why he liked it.

But I am not very girly, I guess. Women who are, leave me mystified if you want to know the truth. I am rather awed by women at home in their femininity and their comfort with their wiles and stuff. I’m rather old potatoes in comparison. But I can dress up those potatoes rather grandly, so I’m not complaining, you understand. I just never got the whole mars, venus thing. and some of these books that celebrate that…you can see where it leaves me. When I did buy into some of this earlier in life, it raised expectations that were dashed. Maybe it is different for others, I am very sure it is from the way many older women speak. Amongst themselves…. and their never ending fascination with manicures and shopping and shoes.

All nice stuff, but I’d rather talk books, and take a hike ( oh yes, there’s some that just wish I would-more! 😉

How did I get onto this…oh yeah, the book. I’ll do it up over the next couple days. I’m a fast read if I can get myself between the covers…wait, that didn’t come out quite right, did it?

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