I feel like laughing at the world tonight ( or this early morning-as you like).
The trouble is I don’t have any new jokes…just old ones to use. I need new material. When I put together a collection of my favorites, some years ago, I had the best time. Humor really is very healing. One of the most fun was this long list of really silly one-liners… the farther I got into it the more hilarious each one was; I was rolling before I was done. I like to have some of that in my day, especially when I feel like my lid is about to hurl off into the wild blue yonder.
Ever have times like that? Probably not you, but sometimes I do. Then I like to laugh at the world. I could say explosively, but then you’d think weird things like (oooo, unibomber…)
Anyway, things like this make me laugh-you’ve probably heard them all before:
“As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I’m doing or why you’re paying me so much money. What’s important is that you continue to do so. — Hunter S. Thompson’s Samoan Attorney”
“I do not like this word bomb. It is not a bomb; it is a device which is exploding.”
Jacques Le Blanc, French ambassador to New Zealand, describing France’s nuclear testing, 1995
When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
Two psychiatrists pass in the hall. The first says, “Hello.” The other thinks, “I wonder what he meant by that.”
For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here’s a tip: Why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness.
“Give me ambiguity or give me something else.”
Laugh alone and the world thinks you’re an idiot.
I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
I love George Carlin, Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engvall, usually Tim Allen. That type-down-home. but hey-anyone who is funny without being too crass.
Online I have to go through alot of stuff to find things that really make me laugh. Have you ever looked over some of that specific type of humor site? Like the Philosopher or Physicist jokes? Those can seem pretty obtuse. Like this Hungarian joke during the Communist regime: “A Russian climbed up a ladder, he fell off … HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA” – My Aunt overheard it when she visited there, and remarked on it as she didn’t get it. Maybe her Magyar wasn’t up to snuff, but maybe it was one of those insider you have to be there sorts of humor. Maybe it is just mad Hungarians…that could be it;) Maybe the prototype for the Mad Hatter….?
I lost the urge to laugh madly all alone, thanks for bearing with me. Hoo, all better now.