I Need… I Need

I need something funny- a couple good cartoons, a funny movie, something. If anyone has anything along those lines, share it please. I’m telling you I’m desparate. I need to laugh.

Ok. Constipation time over…. I read over at Lashawn’s on blogging-what makes a good or bad blogger. I admit it, I’m a sucker for that sort of info. I somehow ended up over at phin’s– he has a blogspot one that I really hope develops. Because we need this information. I’m serious.

I never subscribed to the thought that I was much of a writer- still don’t, but the funny thing about blogging is that I want to improve. Of course I obsessively get that way about lots of things, but I think when you see some of the really good creative stuff out there you think: I want to be like that.

And you will keep thinking that way until it gets painfully obvious that that won’t happen. Which is so far down the road for someone like me that I might actually get the hang of it before I give up:)

Anyway, I started working on a WordPress rendition of my blog. Just experimenting thanks to the terrific blog hosting people here. Really, JD is terrific…he even made me feel good and said that he comes over to read my blog sometimes.

I don’t know what drives such people to acts of kindness, but they really do put forth a service in providing free hosting and an opportunity to use stuff like MT and WordPress. So cool. Really.

So-if you have any good humor related things, or best how to blog posts/urls, I’d appreciate the leads left in the comments. Thanks,ppls.

2 thoughts on “I Need… I Need”

  1. I have written thousands of legal pads worth of thoughts, prayers, and groanings in my life. I fear that any would see the light of day because I fear the old man within. If someone responded to me with criticism or praise, what good is that to me? If one seeks only to serve the will of God and to see the pleasure He gains in one more soul to quench his thirst, what need do they have of human critique. It seems to me in reading your post that you still crave human recognition.

    When I grew up, my dad was not a man easily able to give love. He used humor as a weapon and taught us all to do this as well. He cut others down to size so that he did not have to look in the mirror. I tried first for his love and when he could not give it to me tried to excel not for myself but to try and earn this elusivle love. One day, I was at the hospital with mom waiting while dad was having a routine operation on his gall bladder. The surgery took longer than expected and when we met with the doc he told us dad had cancer and about three months to live. In the three months, we all tried to take care of dad but I will also say that we all sought that elusive close to the story hearing him say he loved us with sincerity. On my last visit with him, I leaned down to kiss his check and whispered “I love you” and heard a faint “me to.” Those were the last words I would hear and words I have never forgotten. Only later did I realize that dad could not give what he did not have. He too longed for the person most important in his life, his mother, to say he was loved more than all the moon and stars. He longed for the blessing that the child needs which goes back all the way through the old testament. So dad could not give me his blessing unless he had one to give or unless God through grace had instilled this into his heart and thus was able to break the chain passed from generation to generation.

    It sounds to me like you were not given the blessing by that person most important to you in life which is usually a mother or father. So you seek to fill that hole in life with this craving to hear but do not clearly know what. It is for that reason that God teaches we must love Him first over all as the most important commandment. If we do, we can depend on Him to give us not only the blessing we need to hear but fill us will love to be able to love others as he has loved us. God gave me love in abundance and the audacity to take the love in freely and drink of it even in my state and sinner. He also showed me the story of my father so I could go back after his death and whisper again, “I love you dad and now I understand that “me to” was the best you could do and a song of not two words but a symphony of love that will always be in my heart.

  2. You are right in your assessment of me. Early on in ‘truegrit’ I wrote of that ( I think I copied it onto the ilona_intended site after upsaid closed me down).

    I am so happy you were given those words you most hoped to hear. I wasn’t and I still have some struggles with that. They just aren’t forefront for me at the moment.

    You’ve reopened something that I may want to write more on … I am not aure I am ready right now tho’ 🙂

    I think so many of us are dealing with such issues, and it is something that we are passing on in our parenting/mentoring styles. Truly something to explore.

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