More Things I Learned…

Changes: the real evolution

A family, made up of growing organisms, and actually an organism, itself, changes. It grows, sometimes mutates, diminishes, changing in all the ways that life has available. And as with the rest of life, what one has to hold for whatever length of time is given, should be enjoyed and cherished. My family is no longer growing at this time and the natural process of diverted pathways has begun. At some point, family members leave to begin their own lives, and little ones cannot be kept little.

I’m learning to cook in smaller amounts and life without babysitters has returned. It is a funny process, really. This time around, in raising the younger group, I take seriously the advice “Enjoy them while they’re young, they won’t always be little”. Small children have much potential for joy, wonder, and love; that is their gift to their parents-and we think we do all the giving! Let’s laugh at this point, at ourselves and with the children we’re privileged to have in our lives.

Read on for replay of a more recent vintage

I think I wrote this a year ago when I first started blogging on upsaid ( and btw, I did ultimately sew my little girls toy back together and the head on her sister’s bear, as well):
Thursday, September 25 2003

It has been raining and thundering and this is the middle of the morning ( or night) however you view it. I managed most of the outstanding obligations this week ( yay, me). This is important for evasive procrastinators. Every duty accomplished is a success.

I need to be there more for my older, fledged children. Sometimes I have a hard time with that. Not being as positive and demonstrative as needed. Twenty-somethings need affirmations -maybe they need them more because they did not get enough in their formative years, but they still need support. I feel very burdened for them… and am not sure why. At that same age [that several of my struggling kids are at] I was running my own home (sort of) and had several children.. with almost no money. I got through it. But maybe that is why I feel the sadness. I remember how hard it was, but being a product of the sixties, maybe I had more hope at the time?

I don’t know. I can’t judge, it seems impossible to see it objectively.

Oh well. I could give more hugs and positive responses anyway. Just for nothing. No real reason…just to do it.

I don’t know why that is so hard.

Already this is neither short nor sweet.

What happened to that?

Well…you know what I hate about this? This is a replay of how I raised them. I made it through all the obligations of the day and then pondered regretfully at night…making resolutions how I would be a better mom, a better this or that…only to have it get lost in the demands of the next day.

I hate that.

It is important to decidedly become what you know you most want to become. To make progress in the small things that create the big changes.

But you can’t hurry up the day… you simply have to focus on the important. The relationship part.

I never thought I would think this way. That relationship and doing a kindness or showing affection would be more important than reading that book or article, than making some impact of import upon the world.

But it turns out that it is. And now …long time coming down the line… is when I must make the adjustment. It is not that hard. It just has to be done.

Maybe it is that 21 days to make a habit thing. Maybe I should make quotas for being positive x times a day. And putting aside the book or the whatever.

that is hard to do with the homeschool… the books are primary.

See? I perpetuate it.

Oh,well… I will hug more. I don’t have to argue about that……

and I could break down and sew the bear’s arm back on for my little girl. If I can find the arm…before she grows up…..

These blogs are good for something. I will now be haunted until I sew it on. This entry will dog my steps until I can post that it is DONE! It could be of lasting importance in a little girls mind…. who knows? And what does it cost, but a little effort and time?