… and I’m tired. Earlier, late afternoon on the 11th, my husbands father passed on. He had been in the hospital for a week, and failing for some time. My father, one of my grandfathers, and one of my grandmothers died at this time of year. It makes for schizoid feelings with the joy of Christmas on the one hand and on the other hand the sadness of a family member passing from this life to the next.
I’ve been fairly upbeat this season, and rejoiced in the beautiful warm weather of the day (Dec. 11 reached 66 degrees!). None of us are overly melancholy with the news of my father in law’s death, as he lived quite a long life, 92 years, and beat death many times. We were sure last year would be his last, but he bounced back once again. This time, though, there was no giving the grim reaper the slip, and we all knew that for some time.
It underscores some things that have been uppermost in my mind lately: what will you be remembered for? Too often we stay strapped into the character that those around us draw for us, when we have the power at all times to redraw the picture. The thing is to figure out whether to dig around the old fig tree or give up on that one and plant anew.
Related to that is lesson that health is of such importance to how we end our lives… the effort to be healthy into our old age is certainly of high priority, and emotional health is as important. I think the one area of emotional health is to invest yourself in others. Those who are grateful for that investment are important to your own well being. One other very important lesson is to show gratefulness and appreciation, and I am trying to improve on that. To turn from negative regrets towards positive and proactive “glass half full” attitudes and words of the same to others. Giving honor where honor is due and such related concepts as that.
It has made me think of News Years Resolutions a little early, but that topic is for another post.
This one is to say that maybe the best gift we can give each other for Christmas is affirmation and support. affirming what is good in each other, supporting through freely speaking our love and appreciation for others, and looking for the need we may serve, in however small a way.