The Boar’s Head Tavern Announcement

Through facebook I am becoming somewhat more acquainted with some of my fellow bloggers, especially the Godbloggers. Recently, Michael Spencer,aka The Internet Monk, has shared some of his personal struggle… some of it involves family relationship, some spiritual decisions and belief. I don’t wish to comment on that right now, instead, it made me think of my own struggles, of dreams broken, and life taking turns of such totally unexpected direction that it has knocked me back and made me question to a depth that was unimaginable earlier in my life.

I appreciate his bravery. Michael Spencer feels the freedom to share his details, I don’t yet. In my own walk I have found certain theologies solidify despite the assault my circumstances make upon them. Yet, I have now reached a very open handed way of holding them… rather they hold me, in spite of myself. It is another case of my faith working me, and not me working my faith. I just can’t. Can’t make things work if they are not going to. What I can do is put these things… all these things, along with the sinful causes, in myself and in those around me, into the Father’s hand. This is the scripture that is most working in my life right now:

1 Peter 5:7
Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

I am not glad that The Internet Monk must suffer these things in his life, anyone who has experienced this knows how it cuts you to your very core, but I am taking much from his words concerning it. We gain understanding from each other in so many ways… sometimes the fellowship of sufferings is the knowing nod from someone, sometimes the heartfelt confession.
What is said about “head of the home” is especially meaningful. It is something that is growing and living, not just a title, but a relationship, it can be grown into, it can be broken, it can be redeemed and restored. But I don’t think it can be escaped from. For the very reason given: “God is not manipulated”, and as is further said:”God isn’t stopping them and he isn’t causing them. He’s not playing games with us” we will find that we circle around until we come to the place where we get what it is we must learn, and what we must surrender to…

But God does wait.

The Boar’s Head Tavern » The Whole Story: What’s Been Happening At Our House Since Holy Week 07 and Why I’ve Been A Nut Case Ever Since
I’ve given up believing in a God who cares about things like “head of the home,” “spiritual unity,” denominational churches and the “ministry marriage.” It was my foray into certain theologies that made me believe one could be certain about these things and the God who cooked them up. I was a fool. Jesus is what I have. Jesus, and the God he incarnates. Nothing else and no one else.

I now realize that the God I believe in can’t be manipulated to stop these kinds of things from happening.

God is waiting for us, and we will only have peace as we trust in Him. That is what I felt M. Spencer is finding… that peace that trusts God when all else crumbles… our plans, our vision, our support, our theologies, and we just must let it go.

Now, God, what are you going to do? Help me be faithful to follow you humbly as you work out the impossible.