nothing..never mind

I was just out looking through blogs, killing insomnia time, and came across another woman’s blog where she said “ciao” because she was tired of blogging and the fact that the same old world and national problems keep on being their own tired old selves. I could commiserate. It does get wearisome to rant and rant and get nowhere. Along the same lines my grown daughter came by and was very animated with tones of the distraught : she has a friend who is getting an abortion although it isn’t something she seems to have been convinced was a particularly good idea. The long view is that this will cause her much regret and sorrow, besides the fate of the baby…

So the question and inner conflict is a feeling of failure- why can you convince a friend to reconsider things on other topics, but not this? or why does she go ahead with an almost fateful determination that this is her only answer? As if we can truly influence people to the degree that we believe is necessary, we wring our emotional hands over it. I know this same feeling of failure- but I said the right answer anyway: you said what you could, and the decision for action is within the persons boundaries. We can’t make people choose – not really.

Besides, if we are successful at forcing the choice this time- what about the next time such a person gets in moral hot water… and likely they will…. can you keep being their “savior”? Can you save people from themselves? I don’t think so. You can give them the lamp… show them the path, and help shoulder their burden, but you can’t make them choose.

This is so frustrating for those who want to help others; that required recognition of the persons free moral agency and jurisdiction over their own decisions. Yet, it must be maintained…. and not trespassed -even by our own best intentions.

But it is so painful to do so.

3 thoughts on “nothing..never mind”

  1. I think that is why Jesus tells us to turn the other cheek. To go the extra mile, to offer extra clothing. If you notice, the other person in each of those situations is self-absorbed and needy, but they need help.

    Turning the other cheek is an aggressive stance that says, I want to give you another chance.

    Those examples are a way of saying, keep going. Keep trying to help. Even if it ends in a slap in the face.

  2. That is one of the most profound and helpful comments I have read in awhile. You really have me thinking about what turning the other cheek is all about.

  3. Tell her not to give up, not ever. All you can do is try.

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